How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I am on a escalator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What number comes after 29? 30.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops