What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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who is awesome? no one...

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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whats brown? poop.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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