what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Women Voting

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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Whats worse than finding bubba in your house? Getting raped by a rabid racoon..

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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