roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

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What is next?

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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