- Anti Joke

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

a black guy walks into a fast food place.

Jared Gough is a slut

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

Yo mamas so fat.

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

2 women were sitting quietly

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

MICHAEL

I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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