Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Rebecca Black

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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I like to eat people

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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