How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

a man walks into horse bar

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

Farts smell bad!

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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