a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

OBAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

monkey sponge

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

i eat poop

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A jew went to Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

you're a loser >>>>>>>>>>>

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops