Watch your lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Don't think of granny porn

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops