A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +20

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ass

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

thumb_up thumb_down +20

minecraft

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops