What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

thumb_up thumb_down -14

who is awesome? no one...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your so stupid, that your stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

thumb_up thumb_down -16

there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Chuck norris survived rapture.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats brown? poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

thumb_up thumb_down -26

i dislike sack in my mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops