Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +5

dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My name is never spelt right so its all good

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

kiss me?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops