When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is next?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Fire extinguishers are sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

thumb_up thumb_down +6

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops