What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ham sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -53

How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

thumb_up thumb_down -63

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -73

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops