Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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A child with cancer grows up.

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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fack me!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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