What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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obama

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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If you are my friend like it!

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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Which one is hardest?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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