Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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what do you call a black man named mike

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A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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an amosh person used an electrical appliance

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Dislike this

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A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

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If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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