What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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