How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Video Games

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops