Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Women.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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Japan called... They need help.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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