How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

man boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

We didnt star the fire ...........

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

thumb_up thumb_down -36

IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

haha, you're an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops