Where's my tractor?

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Gadaffi

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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