Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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what happens during a climax apples

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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myspace

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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