Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

25

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops