why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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What abou three times

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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