Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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Black People.

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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what's red and blue? your heart

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops