Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Yes. Just Yes.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops