who farted your mother

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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