Where's my tractor?

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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69

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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