A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A woman should not be in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did i fall? i got pushed!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

*you're

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops