I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Do you know what they say? Words

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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Which one is hardest?

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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