What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What did the clock say? The time.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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