Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

thumb_up thumb_down +22

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops