What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +7

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops