There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ass

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops