Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

22

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +22

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A woman should not be in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between black people and HIV? They are of a specific ethnicity whom which share specific ideals and background; whilst the other is a virus contracted from sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops