A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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