Why did the bunny eat his food

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +52

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +44

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops