A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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c+t+c?

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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Q. What happened when a mouse ran up the clock and it struck 12? A. It fell off and got raped by an 80 year old Asian lady with breast cancer

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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