Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Yes. Just Yes.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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