What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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Do you need any assistance?

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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