Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

a catholic priest and a young boy

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

What is the difference between black people and HIV? They are of a specific ethnicity whom which share specific ideals and background; whilst the other is a virus contracted from sexual intercourse.

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

PENlS.

What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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