Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Potato.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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