A Japanese man walks into a bar, it collapses and then is demolished by a tsunami.

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Lil' Wayne

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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math test 2=2

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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