The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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95556

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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How are you? Yes

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who farted your mother

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Halo < COD

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Potato.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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