I ate a pancake for breakfast not

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Homework.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

lick my ballsack.... ok

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What sucks? A: Straws

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops