whats white and gooy liguid goop

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Enchilada

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Up to 50% off."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jared Gough is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops