What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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Potato

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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gay rights

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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