What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What is a question?

stop it ryan vallee

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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