What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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