Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops