One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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9/11

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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Blarg

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Facebook...

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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