Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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What's easier to get than a broke hooker on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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What's up? A direction...

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

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Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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c+t+c?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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