A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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what do you call a black man named mike

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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motley crew

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops